Thursday, 29 August 2013

Happy Birthday to me!....and what was your worst ever present?

Well yesterday was my birthday and as anyone who knows me will tell you
they never run very smoothly!
 
I've had a few corkers in the past, sometimes the day is celebrated and sometimes it passes in a blur of other family business (i.e. cricket business). Sadly my birthday lands at the most crucial time of the cricket season, when grudge matches are often played and when next years league positions can be decided.

I have had days when my birthday has clashed with a cricket match and therefore is largely forgotten.
There was the year in my early 20's when I turned up at the end of a match in the hope that we would at least be going out for a meal; and we did, in a way! The match had been crucial to that years league status apparently so there was a lengthy de-brief. It went on and on and on. Eventually we left for our meal about 10.30pm, and took 1 team member with us - there was a little more match play to discuss!

Another year the match was rained off halfway through, so I anticipated an evening out....however husband arrived home early, but with the entire team in tow!
 
I've had presents delivered to me in bed and then husband and 2 sons have had to leave for an early match before I finished opening them!

I have had a wonderfully diverse array of presents in the past, these range from opal earrings, 4 door handles, a diamond ring, a selection of things from late night Tesco (magazine, chocolate & flowers) and best of all a clipping from a newspaper advertising a trip to London with luxury hotel and West End show included, wonderful you're thinking.
But there was no trip, just the clipping, husband thought I could book it up if I fancied it!
I didn't bother!

Anyone who knows me can accurately choose a gift, I'm not difficult.
I like chocolates and flowers - flowers are always a winner.
I like meals out - which can range from a bacon butty at the local greasy spoon
 (one particularly hard-up birthday),  a cream tea in a little tea room to any sort of restaurant.

I would love, if finances permit, a night away in a hotel. I love any kind of relaxing beauty treatments from a foot rub to a full blown spa experience.
I like to relax, I like to read and I generally like to lay around.
 
Life is hectic and we always put ourselves under pressure to do more, enlarge the business, save more. We rarely sit back and enjoy life - and I like to sit down, or better still lay down!
 
In my younger days I have done the occasional scary daredevil activity from white water rafting (I will do almost anything if I'm in water) to swinging on a Tarzan rope across a river and then jumping in. I have enjoyed many a roller coaster although now even the little ones make me feel queasy! But I am far from an adrenaline junkie, very far from it!

As my birthday approaches I get nervous and worried, no one asks what I 'd like, they prefer to surprise me - and boy was I surprised this year - and not in a good way!

It started a little strangely with a card from number 1 son -
That final word is best said in a strong Norfolk accent!
 
It's a fairly accurate description of me if not  an accurate picture!
 I had a lovely card from number 2 son which he'd ordered online to include a photo of himself and the words "little monster".
Little Miss had made her own card which was gorgeous.
I had a packet of Thornton's fudge from number 1 son, as much of a surprise to him as it was to me - he'd clearly not seen it before I'd opened it!
And some of my favourite hand cream from Little Miss and Number 2 son.
 There were also flowers, a gorgeous bunch of sweet smelling Lilies.
 
and then the final "big" present, eager looks all around as I opened the envelope.....
 
Whatever possessed them? I have never had a desire (nor ever will have) to parachute anywhere, attached to anyone! All I could mutter was "Why?"
 
I am completely flabbergasted, there  are two things I've always said I would never do and they are bungee jump and parachute jump! What were they thinking?
 
My friend did one a year or so ago and assured me that the tandem partner was great, she had a tiny crush on "strap on Steve" - I believe that was his name!
 
The only answer I got from The Builder when I asked why was that he thinks I should challenge myself from time to time!
I looked around at their faces and without any hesitation I think I would consider myself challenged enough already!
 
So tell me, what was your worst/most memorable gift? Please tell me I'm not alone!
 
 

43 comments:

  1. WOW, what a corker! Maybe it will be worth it just to go and meet 'strap on Steve' although for me that nickname evokes terrifying images of one suggested gift for me one year...pre hubby!!
    Get them to jump for you. You can film them coming down. And, Happy Birthday.
    Worst present? Being told that because I was a foreigner and expected one (living in Japan), I should go out and get it myself!!!

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    1. Oh goodness I dread to think of what gift may have involved a strap-on-Steve!
      Actually being told to go out and buy my own present is looking attractive right now!!

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  2. What is it with men!! Why can't they just buy something simple and nice? I don't usually get anything these days other than some flowers, as hubby says I'm difficult to buy for. Well anything would be better than a strange book, two years running, or kitchen gadgets :( Good luck with the jump, or not! xx

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    1. Oh how difficult can it be?? Ask a female friend if all else fails!
      My husband did once buy me a book by a favourite author, it was so good he bought me the same book for Christmas that year!
      Probably not doing the jump.....

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  3. I did laugh out loud at the newspaper cutting one! Especially when you said you didn't bother booking it. I refer people to my wish list on Amazon books....works a treat.

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    1. I will be pinning a wish list to his head before Christmas arrives!

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  4. Oh Jay me too, I could never bungee jump, that always looks like torture and the thought of a shute not opening eeewwwww!!!Is this one for a "re-gift"? Chocolate and plants/flowers are always good for me as well, no scary gifts to report here. Love the card, ha.

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    1. Parachute not opening is exactly my point, just to add to the worry I saw a jump on tv last night (purely by accident) where the man broke almost every bone in his body on landing! I mean, why would you....?

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  5. Many belated happy birthday wishes.
    I hope the fudge was scrummy and it was eaten with very smooth hands!
    Lisa x

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    1. I got 2 more boxes of delicious fudge today Lisa, I'll be too heavy for the jump very soon!

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  6. Jay!!! Happy Belated Birthday and a "NOOOOOOOO - DON"T DO IT!" Others may tell you yes, but I think: return it for the money and buy yourself something you love!

    Worst gifts? Hmm - a Heidi Klum exercise book, hands down... Can you imagine???

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    1. Oh no an exercise dvd?, I'd kill anyone who dared do that!

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  7. Happy Belated Birthday Jay! Wow, I'd seriously not know what to decide if my husband gave me this for my Birthday. On one hand it's a test of courage and it may look damn scary, but on the other hand it might be an experience well worth the risk. Whatever you decide I look forward to reading more about it in the future. I'd actually love to read the story of the 4 door handles too!

    My most memorable gift was when my husband took me out to dinner at a restaurant of my choice and to see a theatre show I'd talked about wanting to see a couple of months earlier.

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    1. Oh Beate, dinner and theatre would be perfect! I will tell the door handle story one day!

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  8. I think that'd have to be one present I'd give away !

    I've had a fleece which made me look like a sheep from husband ( I returned it & got two nicer ones in the sale )
    Husband's presents to me are best when Jess chooses them !

    Happy birthday - do let us know when you book the jump !!!

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    1. How great to look like a sheep!!
      Little Miss is very good, apparently she did say "I don't think Mum will like that" but the 3 men all agreed I'd love it!

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  9. Happy Birthday! I'm still laughing at 'strap on Steve', what an image that conjures up... I can't think of any terrible presents but hubby did arrange a little surprise party for me one year and I was in a really bad mood right up until the first guests arrived (and quite possibly for a while after.) I'm not good with surprises like that.

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    1. I totally agree, I can never do anything spur of the moment, all my friends know that!

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  10. Happy birthday. My husband and daughter know me well, so I have had great presents through the years. But my husband's brother one year gave us toilet paper for a Christmas present, He'd bought 2 shares of Kimberly Clark ( the makers of the toilet paper) and thought it would make a good present.

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    1. Toilet paper??! That's got to be the worst ever!

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  11. Rather you than me in a parachute jump! I have learned to be very, very specific when asked what I would like for my birthday. Otherwise, I can (and have) end up with a lime green Afro wig (why? WHY.?)

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    1. A friend has told me in the past (when I have previously been monumentally disappointed with husbands choice of presents)that her cure was to go into various shops and have things reserved and then give her husband a list of shops/counters to visit!
      A lime green afro wig? Go on tell me you wore it, I have a feeling you did!

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  12. Oh my goodness, what a present. I think my family know me too well to ever even consider anything like that, I won't even go on the Waltzers at the fairground. Do let us know when you're having a jump with Strap on Steve, now that sounds rude. Happy belated birthday.

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    1. Well my husband has lived with me for 30 years now and clearly knows nothing about me!
      I will certainly tell if I book it but right now I'm 99% sure I'll be passing the gift on to someone who wants it. (despite the attraction of strap on Steve)

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  13. Happy birthday to you, would love to know if your going to jump? My worst gift was chocolates from the petrol station when I was on diet.

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    1. Probably not going to do it, I'm terrified! Chocs from the garage, that's not good.

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  14. First... Happy Birthday!
    Seconds... HOLY CRAP!!! lol
    I had to chuckle, bless your heart... When I live there we will have to go out for a proper meal on both of our birthdays!
    At least you got some chocolate... right?
    Much love to you my friend,
    Tammy

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    1. Thank you!
      I've got a lorry load of fudge Tammy (although I'm on my 4th week of a diet!)
      Will look forward to the meal, we must do that when you're over here.
      And HOLY CRAP is almost what I said!!

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  15. I couldn't stop laughing when I read your post as it's so typical of men and I bet they were really excited about it. My worst present was quite a few years ago when shops didn't open Sundays and only DiY stores seemed to open late - my other half had forgotten my birthday so he had sneaked to B&Q and the only thing he could find was a bamboo plant holder - quite hideous and not a bit in keeping with our other stuff!. Hope you enjoyed some of your birthday and they obviously all love you x

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  16. Belated happy birthday...hope the day itself was good x

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  17. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    That card is hilarious!
    And that is one crazy gift...I can't wait to read how it goes--jumping out of a plane.

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  18. I hope you had a happy birthday, despite that gift! My husband always threatens to get me car tires, or a bucket for cleaning the floors, but thankfully he never has the nerve. This year for my birthday I received flowers (yay!),left my son at college (sob) and visited with my mother-in-law (no comment).

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  19. Happy Birthday!!! And goodness that is one crazy present. Do go and tell us about the parachuting experience, it will be thrilling, I'm sure.

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  20. I can't top that one so I am not even going to try!

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  21. Happy Birthday Jay!!! I can't believe you are going parachuting, you're a much braver woman than I !!!
    The best birthday gift I got was the Whippet (10 years ago), and it's all been a bit downhill from there....the worst being the year my birthday was completely forgotten, made worse by the fact I actually thought a huge surprise was awaiting me because nothing was mentioned in the lead up!
    Mel xxx

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  22. I'm not going parachuting Mel, I hate the idea! I'm probably going to pass it on to eldest son although it's not been mentioned since the day!
    Oh to be forgotten, that's awful - by far the worst! I expect you put lots of thought and effort into everyone else's too. My friend and I had a lot of fun thinking of "ideal" presents for the rest of my family!

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  23. What a bizarre gift for somebody who's never expressed an interest in such a thing! I must say that I think you're very forgiving - some of the stories you told about previous birthdays being totally overtaken by cricket are just dreadful - I'd have been really upset in your shoes at my family putting themselves and their hobbies ahead of me on my one special day. Grrrr. Am feeling angry on your behalf!

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  24. Oh Jay that's so funny! I think I'd start divorce proceedings if my husband gave me a parachute jump for my birthday... Will you do it do you think, or maybe you can re-gift it to your husband for his birthday? And happy birthday to you!

    About a month before my birthday I start hinting, writing lists and making plans and basically bully my poor hubby into getting me something I'll like. I hate surprises. Unless he ever surprises me with diamonds, in which case, that's fine by me! x

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  25. Your kids are absolutely hilarious -that first card is a classic. Honestly a credit to you that they have such imagination! I did a parachute jump on one of the worst hangovers of my life and to be honest that is the only way they got me to do it, I was still back in bed when I jumped. Good luck chook!!!!

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  27. Yeah, you get the prize. I utter (to the mister)a pre birthday mantra: stick to the wishlist. Seems to work.

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